Well, 3 LO as opposed to one by one, but nevertheless I struggled getting this finished, erasing, removing, never satisfied. It's the same ole battle crativity versus perfectionism and just feel inadequate and all that insecurities talk. I know what's causing this. Not being outside, socializing, face to face contact, peers, colleagues, expanding horizons. Well, that, and I haven't heard from those I applied for and the house not looking squeeky clean as I hoped it would be. For one moment, as corny as she is, I wished I was Sabrina with her magic and make all the clutter disappear with a wave of the hand (is that what she does, told you she was corny, I don't pay attention).
Oh well with all the dreaded stuff, I remain alive and in good condition and emotionally healthy surprising enough.
Weather is not so pleasant either, riding on my mood. Sappy, grey and rainy weather. Darn! How in the world can I show off my shopping conquest, ROFL (thanks Weng, now there's meaning behind the abbreviation). I want to go out buy rice cause I feel a hungerpang and we're out of our rice, and if the weather was nice, I would go out in a jiffy with my home clothes and sandals, but now I gotta get dressed and protect myself from the darn wetness outside.
Is it obvious that I am cranky right now. It doesn't help that I nowadays rediscovered winamp radio and listens to a pop top 40 station. Not actually the relaxing music. Weird for me to be tuning into this. I have so varied musictaste that even I confuse myself.
Liv pointed out my astig side. OMG girl, you can't imagine me when I went from Norway to 3rd year high school in Philippines. They had to unprogram my siga walk and make me comb my hair and dress me up like I was a doll. And at college, I was the grunge hippychick girl (at one point digging Slayer and deathmetal. That's sick when I think of it now. Shiver.) who used to drink one on one with my buddy Rap (R.I.P) emptying a bottle of whisky without chaser and in a snap (I shouldn't start with the drinking stories. Now the smell of liquor makes my stomach turn upside down). I was skipping class and missing on finals on my first year, and flunking grades, and the later years I was dean's lister for 3 semesters. The in between is a long journey. Don't want to bore you, hehe. Anyway, I think I am a very versatile person and I am very girl with my style in my mind, but I like to be comfy in real life. I prefer sandal over stiletto, but I love dressing up occasionally and just use so much time getting myself foxy. But in the daily life I prefer to not wear makeup (ofcourse, I am always at home) and be really comfy with jeans or sweats and a tshirt and my glasses. Maybe it's because the image of the teacher with her hair up, glasses and transform to the godess in the music videos and the cheesy 80's movie appeals to me, hehe.
Ok so there you have me in a nutshell. My interests is also in celeb gossips nowadays which my older me could kill me for. I never imagined to be digging in such shallow stuff like this, but it's kinda fun. But to save my reputation, the best part is look at what makeup and dress they wear, not their private life (...NOT, no seriously I swear I have no interest in whose house they came out from the night before, hehe).
I am just fooling around a lot, stretching space so this can be dubbed a normal blogentry in my case which is the trademark looong and winding.... I forgot to take notes, silly me. Now I have to concentrate really hard to bring out the details....
Oh yes how can I forget the day I was super cranky. Mess, no cooperation, you get the drift, and the struggle of letting go since I am supposed to be a good sister and be supportive in a difficult time. Oh forgive me for even saying this loud. I am a jerk for thinking and hang up in these things, but I am just a humanbeing, and I am really setting aside these selfish feelings for I feel guilty just feeling this. I love her to death, and it's been difficult to deal with it because she has such enthusiasm for her upcoming bundle of joy, but I can't always ride on her good mood, and it makes me feel guilty for not expressing excitement all the time in her rate and her intensity, but still I am really excited. I have never felt this personally and I can't relate to that extent. But as soon as I snap to my angelic side and feel the guilt, I go to her and just gives her a kiss on the cheek. Ok, I am rambling now, does this even make sense.
And the pc got me cranky too. Solved it after hours, but I feel we so need more protection. I managed to solve an issue again. A virus had planted a fake file to resemble the exe files that runs when you do start-run. And with the help of a toll that I googled, it detected it and made it disappear. Also cleaned the registry some more by manually removing PS 7 files since my unistall was interrupted.
Let's go to happy news. This entry is so somber. Ok, tax money is here. SLR here we come. I am so excited, and Bizzi asked me to buy it already, but I want him to be there, so I am delaying it till his dayoff. I can jump for joy, but can still imagine being really bored with no subject and cloudy weathers.
So what else has happened. Talked to mom. Been a long time since I heard her voice. Miss her so much. She's bugging me about stuff like going to the long delayed doctortrip, and other stuff. But I kept cool. She only wants my best, and she says it so nicely. Still nice to talk to her. Love my parents so much. They have been busy with gardening now and want to start a bakery. Wish them the best, because they deserve the best.
We follow football and scream and shout like mad. Man that nederland versus portugal was wild. So many yellow card and 4 red cards. Lots of heat on that match. Important is that Germany and England advances. With Sweden out of the competition I am cheering for Mr. Beckham and
Funny stuff. Watched a little afternoon tv and stumbles upon bold and beautiful which we watched religiously back in the days when the whole family was here. Hahaha. That's all I can say. And theya re finally showing a newer version of 7th heaven. The Camden are really the idyllic family. Can't believe how they've grown, and how two of them are not there. And Lucy is preggy and married to this Brad Pitt like figure. Picture-perfect, aaah...
Sleep is normal as off now. Suddenly got sleepy in front of the pc around 1 am, and laid myself to sleep. Eventhough I woke up pretty late.
I discovered this new product at our local grocery. It's a refreshing yoghurt drink. I am loving these type of drinks. It is in two flavors. Raspberry with Lemon and Strawberry. And I bought a bag of ice. I want to satrt making ice coffee's again, and now I just need a sunny weather to match my chilled and refreshing drinks.
Before I forget, I got my LO draft of our wedding album. I am already working on the alterations. Best way is to make suggestions by coorecting the layouts with my CS2 and I am also complimetning it with some written description. It was ok, but maybe a little too plain. But love the choices of pics (which I never came around to pick), and some I really loved. It landed on my spam actually, so I have had it for 4 days actually.
Ok I am off to buy the rice now. Can't stand the loud rumble of my tummy. It interrupts my thinking ;)
Journaling is mostly about the time dad contracted meningitis, and was near death. He returned to a child, lost his memories and got super thin. So I am glad God was merciful and let him stay with us longer.
Credits: Photoalbum, albumpages and alpha from Jen Wilson's Genuine Swing. Papers from jen Wilson's Grandad's lap, cut with Miss Mint's decorative edges, vellum mat vellum from Jen Wilson's everyday bliss kit, Beaded wire from Chelsey's dream kit by Michelle Coleman, Buttons and bookplate from Jen Wilson's latest element packs, vintagepaper paraphernalia from Kathryn Balint's My old Office, frame corners and Inked overlay from IOD essentials kit, Burnt edge Overlay from Michelle Coleman, stitches from Gina Miller and tripleframe from Eve Recinella's Rough n Tumble kit. Fonts are Beccaria, Carpenter ICG and Saeculum.
And beside from the creative downer within me, the computer also has been guilty on frustrating me and affecting my flow. This is my second baby so my spiderman's senses are tingling when something is wrong. Also, I was to uninstall photoshop 7.0 when it all hang up and I didn't get to finish the uninstall. When I restarted it was unable to uninstall since it was missing a logfile that was vanished through the interrupted uninstall prior to rebooting. And deleting the folder manually in the program files doesn't remove the registry files and other photoshop 7 associated files spread a round. Headache after headache. But the biggest problem is lately, it has been slow, gettig stuck and for example when I type a text at Photoshop, there is delay before it appears. Another thing that has been happening is that when I do disk cleanup it never finishes. I didn't tie it to the slow performance, but later discovered that this was causing it. Also bloglines was a little cuckoo last night, I emailed support and got fixed.
So I opened the task manager and saw that it was 100% all the time, and I didn't have much program on. I had tons of stuff running simultaneously before, but still having it down to 40-70%. This was definitely abnormal. I opened the processes and discovered that the biggest percent of 99% was going to cleanmngr.exe. So I googled my situation which suggested I edit an entry in the registry. I am always a little hesitant touching the registry. I killed the process in the task manager, also edited the registry and last I scanned for spyware with Adware. I read a lot to see what can be causing this and especially if there was a virus in the system (I am currently running an antivirus scan, but not sure if it will be able to detect it). The steps I tok helped, but a probable virus and possibility for a backdoor in my computer which hackers can access is not a happy thought, and the more I am feeling the urgency of having a backup disk for pictures and other important documents. I felt it was so weird to just install new additional ram, but still get poorer performance. Now I get why the computer always told me computer over temperature. The poor thing was overworked by a malfunction.
Anyways, I am bit back on track computerwise. Just need to some clearing and cleaning. Wish I could also get myself to do some cleaning outside the monitor.
Supposedly (there I go again with my supposedly), I was going to a kurdish wedding with Bizzi. With limited transpo, my baby asked me if I still wanted to go. Learning that sis in law wasn't coming, I wasn't so thrilled to sitting with the elders for I would certainly not dance without my usual companions. I get to do ther stuff then, like scrapping *wink*. was relieved to be relieved of the event.
I managed to finish my application for the foreign exchange bank, but will submit it by sunday when sleep is adjusted hopefully. Another job opening that appealed to me is at Mango. Head of their biggest branch in Oslo, assistant chief and visual achuchu. I want to apply as the assistant chief. I love Mango clothing and it would be a treat to work in their firm. Sp since we are talking about Mango. Look at this.
And I went through over 1000 apparels on their norwegian website and here are my faves:
And unless I was a millionaire, I would get the whole bunch, but since I am a far cry from one with my bum ass, here is my narrowed choice. I am a mad shopper I tell you to go through this tedious process before heading to their store.
And to show you excactly how tedious the process was look at the other that didn't fall into my faves, but which I still loved.
and on the topic of fashion, I scanned this from the brochure of one of the nearby malls. I just love the white trend. It's so summery. With hint of browns also. And I loved the color of that bikini. So sweet.
I was having a sappy attack the other day. Well why you might ask. It's all about the weddings. saw Dionne's AVP at Threelogy and another wawie's as well and Nikki's prenups at Ilocos. Also Ade's pics too. Sigh, I miss my wedding preps. I am just so happy for these cyberpals of mine. I know how extatic they must feel. Sigh, again. Another reason I have been having sappy attacks is because of all the sad stuff happening around the world. Some afghan men is hungerstriking downtown because they fear to be sent back to their country in fear of prosecution. They have been doing this for 3 weeks now poor guys. The governement means it's safe for them now, but apparently they disagree, or maybe it's becasue they've got a ataste of a better life in which case why should they be deprived of the opprtunity of that. Then again, there are policies and complex structures of rules that needs to be folowed in order to have equality and order. For while I pity these guys, I am also apalled by the crimes some refugees commit while they are here, and ruining the chances of other who are genuine and noble. And then again, these same criminal offenders have seen and witnessed brutality in their daily life while I sit here sheltered from harm. I also wept for the 2 muslims who were set free after they were shot at being mistaken for terrorists. He was talking about his fear of dying and how he felt at the moment they were shot at. I see how difficult it must have been for him with the look in his eyes.
And last night I also spent most of my time browsing on celeb gossips in the States. At TMZ and at this place called superficial. Some were really funny to read. All the dissing and sarcasm.
By the way a warning to messenger users (yahoo and msn and the likes). If someone on your list (even if it's a friend you trust) suddenly appears and sends you a link just like that, don't click on the link. It's a virus. It's not harmful, but it will in turn do the same to your contacts. I was a vcitim, but managed to remove it. Twice I have gotten messages now even if I was on invisible mode, but I fortunately know better now. So don't fall for that. Who knows, maybe it's a harmful one that has been developed.
I leave you with that for now, although there are some small stuff I haven't gotten to. But it's in my notes. So till next time...